February Feelings

I’ve been staying with my boyfriend for almost the whole month of February so I’ve basically been in a happy domestic love bubble. I’m home now so that bubble’s burst and I guess it’s time to unpack.

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driving with my boyfriend at night, bright city lightsΒ πŸŒƒ

Maybe it’s the Valentine’s vibe permeating my brain, maybe I’m just cherishing the precious time I get to spend with Sam but I’ve been so in love with the simple things we do. From falling asleep together, lightly tracing my fingertips across his face, to driving around listening to his favorite music with the hazy streetlights splashing into the car only to plunge right back into darkness in between lamp posts, and his goodbye kisses in the morning before he leaves for work, gently waking me up just long enough to get a drowsyΒ “I love you” out of me and leave me with fuzzy memories of his fingers fluttering farewell.

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pink sorbet skies 🍧

Sam gets off work in the afternoon so whenever we’re driving around, we’re always chasing the sunset and I swear the skies where he lives are clearer than where I live.

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cool, rainy days 🌧️

I’ve been really bougie lately by lounging around the house in cozy clothes, listening to the rain, and sleepily flipping through my diary while clutching selenite to my forehead. I’ve been drinking iced coffee with almond milk and relishing in overcast weather because I know it’s about to completely disappear for the next 9 months. #AZprobs

February 6th

When I was in sixth grade, I started self-harming. The first time I ever did it, I had pried the blade off of a pair of kids safety scissors leftover from elementary school. The last time I did it, it was the night of the Super Bowl and I had just had a terrible fight with my then-boyfriend. It’s been six years since the last time I cut myself and I’m so proud of myself. I like to take the time every year and thank 15-year-old me for resolving to kick this destructive coping mechanism out of my life. Thank you, Cinni.

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15-year-old me @Homecoming 2011 (hand w/ tiny purse: friend who probably wouldn’t want this goofy photobooth strip on the internet)

 

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Lana Del Rey’s “Love”Β πŸ’Œ

The reigning queen of melancholy music is back and mellower than ever.

Favorite lyric: “You get ready, you get all dressed up to go nowhere in particular.”Β πŸ’„

The Love Witch (2016)Β πŸ₯€

I’ve been seeing gifs of this movie all over tumblr for months now and I finally got around to seeing it after watching this video. It’s super campy and has absolutely gorgeous visuals. I love the 60s B-movie vibes and subtle anachronisms, I love it all.

Fun fact: The director, Anna Biller, did all the set design, costuming, and props herself. #DIYordie

Crazy Ex-GirlfriendΒ πŸ‘—

I love this show so fucking much! Netflix finally got the second season so my boyfriend and I binge-watched the whole season in 2 days and were utterly peeved when we realized it was a shortened season! WHO DOES THAT?! This show is so hilarious and ridiculous, it literally physically hurts me to watch it. Your face will freeze in a permanent cringe, I swear. Basically, it’s a woke-ass show with a multi-racial cast covering topics like mental illness, coming out, modern-day sexism, body-shaming, feminism, and so much more while beating you over the head with an inane but topical song. I love this show, please watch it on the CW (& Netflix tbr) so I don’t have to spend the rest of my life crying when it gets canceled for low-ratings.

One Day at a TimeΒ πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί

Speaking of being woke AF, you need to watch this show! It’s a very refreshing take on Latinx-American life, which is especially important right now. I’m not Cuban, I’m Mexican, but I can still relate and appreciate the abundance of blended culture in the show. I am generally not much of a crier when it comes to tv/movies but I definitely cried more than once while watching this show.

Nail Career EducationΒ πŸ’…πŸ»

I cannot imagine ever getting acrylic nails, I have always had naturally nice, long nails. However, I watched a Jenna Marbles video (yes, I still watch Jenna Marbles) this month where she does her own acrylic nails and and it was LOL funny; she mentioned she was obsessed with watching Suzie’s videos so I checked her out and I’ve been hooked to her soothingly calm voice and gentle acrylic applications. Something about watching her shave down acrylic is so relaxing, I have no idea what it is. I used to think acrylic nails were hideously tacky so you know Suzie’s doing something right.

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raspberry cream cake 🍰

I am a notoriously picky eater. Long ago, I took one look at raspberries’ wrinkly soft texture and decided I didn’t like them. I’d only once tried an actual raspberry and honestly, I swallowed the thing whole. Anyway, Sam and I have been going to Kneader’s Bakery religiously and we’ve started getting dessert there. They make these beautiful little petite raspberry cream cakes and I HAD to try it. The catalyst? Crystal Light Raspberry Iced Tea (I know, don’t judge me). I loved the cake from first bite, it’s such an ethereal and angelic little cake. The cream is rich and dreamy, balanced by the pillowy and fluffy cake. I’m obsessed.

peach iced teaΒ πŸ‘

My real Crystal Light love is their peach iced tea. I’ve never had a real peach, but I’m a peach aesthetic fanatic. I love peach rings and all of my perfumes contain peach notes. I can’t tell if you if this Crystal Light mix tastes anything like real peach iced tea (is it even a real thing?) but it’s very refreshing and I never want to stop drinking it. @Crystal Light, come through with a sponsorship!

veggie pastaΒ πŸ…

Vegetable-based pasta is so yummy, and it’s even yummier when you add actual vegetables (like broccoli or snap peas). I like cooking at Sam’s house because he has a dishwasher, as opposed to my house where the dishwasher is me.

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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?Β by Mindy Kaling

I was supposed to reread this in January but I’m a terrible person who rarely follows through with things. Mindy Kaling is really funny (and a teeny bit problematic).

Sam’s policy book

My boyfriend, Sam, is studying public policy. He loves having someone to talk about it with so he’s been reading his policy textbook to me. The first night, I drifted off and had a lovely night of sleep. The next time I actually stayed awake and found it quite interesting. I might borrow his book later on, and I literally slept through the entire semester of my senior year government class. I’m not kidding, I blatantly slept in that class in the front row and completely failed, but this book actually made it interesting.

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I can’t remember much else of the month, it’s all a blur of heart-shaped pizza and post-IUD insertion cramps. You can see some of that on our vlog channel.

Other random memories of the month include:

a purring machine named Riley, drinking half a bottle of Love Noir wine because I thought it looked pretty but hated the taste of, messily eating snacks in Sam’s bed, a comfy red Ikea chair, my favorite black crushed velvet midi dress, and receiving Sam’s hard pear cider scented kisses on my forehead.

I hope your February was full of love. ❀️

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