Once upon a time, in high school, I used to write a lot about boys. I was very boy crazy and very inspired. I’ve been crazy in love with the same person for over three years now so angsty prose is a thing of the past. Here are some old excerpts previously posted on my personal blog.
I Found a Picture of Us (2013)
I saw you today in clothes that must be new because I don’t remember them. But there’s plenty that I don’t remember anymore, like the color of your eyes or the way you whispered my name. I don’t remember your childhood stories or the secrets you bestowed upon me. I don’t remember how your skin feels anymore, memories of running my hands through your hair are gone. But I remember the way your lips felt when you were sorry, the way you looked at me and I knew you loved me but you were done trying.
I remember exactly what inspired I Found a Picture of Us, I had been organizing my bookshelf and found a photo booth snapshot of us tucked in between two books. We’d cut up the strip of photos and each kept our favorites, I’d lost all of mine except this particular one. After we broke up, I made a box of everything that reminded me of him and hid it away. It had been several months since the breakup and we hadn’t talked since then. The photo was in a grainy black & white. I was trying to remember the day we took it, what we were wearing, how I was feeling, trying to remember the moment and I couldn’t. I felt relieved and surprised at the same time. If I’m being honest, I was definitely exaggerating when I said I couldn’t remember the color of his eyes. He had brown eyes and I will probably never forget that he had brown eyes. I think what I was really referring to was whatever made his eyes his eyes. Maybe he had a certain twinkle in his eyes, or a freckle, or maybe his eyes were a particular syrupy brown. Mostly I just remember the constantly dejected look in his eyes. The last line refers to something else I had previously written about him, but that’s an excerpt for another time.